May 2012

On 2^nd May 2012, I saw my midwife, I didn’t see Diane as she has left and gone to delapre medical centre, but I saw another midwife called Jacqui. She is a lovely lady, she said she admired me for what I am doing and carrying on giving my baby a chance. She asked me if I wanted to listen to baby even though it was early and she said she shouldn’t really listen in. She said that baby was very active and had a good strong regular heartbeat. She could feel baby kicking her hand while she was listening in so I knew I wasn’t feeling things and that I wasn’t imagining it. Came out from seeing the midwife on a high today, it was music to my ears to hear my baby. I will see the midwife again at 25 weeks.

On 5^th May 2012, we drove to Birmingham for the SOFT weekend conference, met some lovely people, some very interesting talks on Edwards syndrome. We broke for lunch, had a lovely meal and then went and sat in the quiet room for a bit to gather some thoughts. Wow the quiet room is absolutely beautiful, feeling so emotional due to the unknown and the what ifs with our baby. Came to our hotel room for some time out and then will go back down shortly to carry on meeting people and very special children. I knew the babies were small but I didn’t think they were as small as I have seen today; it has already opened up my eyes. Today has been a day of lots of presentations, lots of delicious food, plenty of drinks, a good swim and meeting some very inspiring children and adults.

On 6^th may 2012 had a very good chat with Joel, it has opened up his eyes and changed his perspective on things, and it has also changed how he sees things and how he thinks. He is now able to understand my decisions and why I have made the choices that I have. Joel opened up this morning and said he spent some time last night with an amazing little boy called William, Joel has opened up a lot more now. Today has been a day of relaxing, chatting and making things. We made a candle holder each, did a star and a rainbow, these re something special that we can keep and treasure forever. It was an amazing weekend and we will defiantly be going again next year.

On the 10^th May 2012, I sent an email to a charity in America called substaing Grace to see if we got get a 4d scan done. The email said “Hi I am emailing to see if I can get a 4d scan done of our baby, our baby was diagnosed with T18 when I was 12 weeks pregnant, our story so far is below. Before our baby was diagnosed with T18 I was working full time, my husband working full time. I then went on and got sacked due to my pregnancy and the time off that I had had as I had only just stated the job. things are proving difficult for us at the moment as we know we have a baby with T18 would love to have a 4d scan done but due to the fact of only having 1 wage coming in to the house which just about covers all our bills we can’t afford to have one done. We hope you can help us.  Stacey and Joel Smith” I also attached a copy of our diary so far.

On the 14^th May 2012 I got an email back from substaing grace saying yes they would pay for us to have a 4d scan. The email said “First of all, I want to let you know that Diane and I are saddened to hear of baby's diagnosis.  We are, however, excited that you will soon be able see him or her alive and well and kicking around in your womb.  We would love to make that possible for you and your family. Please call a non-medical ultrasound centres in your area that will allow us to pay by PAYPAL or by credit card on their website and set up an appointment for a session that allows you a long time with your baby and provides you with a DVD.  Once you've done that, please e-mail us and let us know the date and time of your appointment and we will take care of it.  By us paying for the session it indirectly notifies them of your situation which sometimes helps your session go smoother and sometimes they can go a little longer for you if they aren't pressed for time.  These facilities are set up so that you can bring family and friends and we encourage you to do so.  This gives them a chance to fall in love with your baby too.  The beauty of these appointments is that there isn't a doctor hovering around you telling you things that are going wrong or could possibly go wrong.  It's just you guys with your baby and its all good news.  We hope you enjoy your ultrasound and look forward to seeing your beautiful pictures.  As a couple who has recently gone through the same thing that you are going through right now, we would like you to feel free to call or email us at any time with any question or if you just need someone in to listen or to pray with.  Our phone numbers are below. God bless, Scott and Diane Peterson I was sure by now, God, that you would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining as the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you" and as your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand  You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm Casting Crowns”

On 23^rd may 2012 we had our 20 week scan, I was only 18 weeks. We got told that our little baby is a little boy; we are going to call him Angelo Jack Smith. We have been told that he has got cysts on his brain (choroid plexus), his head is an irregular shape but we already knew that, his stomach is in his chest cavity so he probably has a diophramic hernia. Because his stomach is in his chest cavity it is pushing his heart to the right side of his chest. He has still got the omphacele but it does appear to be smaller .Apart from that everything else appears to be well. We saw the specialist midwife Andrea again today, she explained everything to us in more detail, yes ok we have an increased risk of an IUD or a still birth but that I will accept even though it will break my heart it will be what nature wants to do. We will love our son no matter what as he is our flesh and blood. Yes we are scared, scared of the unknown but we know that our little boy is a fighter and he is our hero no matter what. We love you son.

On the 25^th May 2012, I sent an email back to substaing grace with details that I had found, the email said Hi Scott and Diane Can you pay through Google accounts with a credit card?? http://www.seeyourbaby.co.uk/packages-and-prices.php I have found this one which allows us 45 minutes with our baby on the 4d bonding enhanched.but having spoken to them on the telephone they did seem to be rushed and seemed like they didn’t want to answer my questions. Was on the phone to them for about 5 minutes.  Have a look and get back to me to let me know if this is ok I have found baby bond too and they don’t rush either from speaking to them on the phone, I was on the phone to baby bond for about 20 minutes, they were very helpful and answered all of my questions.  they take about half an hour to do each scan, can take longer depending on how baby is laying, they have said to do option 1 or option 2 as you get a DVD with them. I don't mind when it is booked for as long as it’s any Saturday towards the end of July so that I am around 26 weeks. It doesn’t matter what time as baby bond have said that I can ring up and change the date and time if needed. I would like it doing in Milton Keynes. They have also said that if needed you can book it in your name or in the charity name as I have made them aware of all the names. http://www.ultrasound-direct.com/babybond-pregnancy-scans/4d-scan/ http://www.ultrasound-direct.com/babybond-booking/appointments/book1.aspx  here are some details that you will need to book in for the scan. my edd  is 24th october.it is a single pregnancy,  Full name is Stacey Smith, address is 44 javelin close, Duston Northampton, nn5 6pl, contact number for me is 07826607957 or 01604 555707. I was recommended baby bond by a friend. have a look and get back to me to let me know what you think, I personally think baby bond is they better one of the two  Many thanks  Stacey and Joel Smith.

On the 28th May 2012 I decided to start doing a blog of our journey with our son, I had been writing a diary so I used everything from our diary. I will update it again when I find out when I have got my 4d scan and at my next appointment.

May 29^th 2012, I am feeling so down and tearful today, don’t know why, cried over nothing, have had so many good days now just seem to be a downer, Angelo is wiggling around, he must know I’m down and upset and it’s his way of saying mummy cheer up, I’m still here and I love you. Going to go shopping with mum to distract my mind, got to hang out the washing and do my shopping list first else I will be going shopping and forgetting what I need and getting stuff that we don’t need. I also started email photographers at now I lay me down to sleep to see if I can find a photographer to come and do photos after our little man is born.

May 31^st 2012 I have had emails back from 4 different photographers saying yes they will come and do us photos of our baby after he is born, we are over the moon. To date we haven’t received an email back from Substaing Grace as yet. I checked the statics on our blog today and to date we have had 262 views since I put it on 4 days ago, I am amazed as we have had 200 views in the UK, 50 in the US, 4 in Australia, 4 in Canada, 2 in Gibraltar, 1 in Ireland and 1 in Denmark. I can’t get over these statics considering it’s only been on for 4 days.